I know, I last wrote about fighting discouragement and doubt. No doubt, there were challenges this past year. Yet I’m thankful for them because God has done an incredible work in my life. Little deposits of grace have built up, and now looking back I can reap the rewards. Little deposits of mercy have brought me to my knees, humbled before God and others. Little deposits of joy, peace and rest are filling my cup: its overflowing.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Amidst trials, circumstance, heartache, and pain, God has been planting those little deposits. Little seeds, for another season to blossom into beautiful flowers of joy. I am so thankful. That in the middle of my circumstances, God was there. Thankful that He not only stayed by my side, led me through, gave me His Spirit, but also gave me those little deposits along the way. There are countless relationships and circumstance where I look back and can only see the imprints of His grace.
I’ve been amazed at over the past few months how much peace, faith, and trust I have. How much joy I have. It’s a season where I feel like I can finally breathe again. Deep breaths of His goodness and grace. Be encouraged! There are times and seasons of trials and hardship. Moments where we have no choice but to cling to our Rock – and those are good and important times. But God also leads us into times of rest and peace in Himself. When others ask me how I’m doing, I reply with the usual “I’m good” – and I’m shocked that its actually true! Sure, I have a few challenging situations in my life at present. Some relationships that still need mending and true reconciliation. But overall my heart isn’t hurting. My heart is healed. Looking toward the future I’m excited! So excited to return to school in the fall. So excited to see what God will bring into my life next. So excited to see where this nomadic-trusting-in-Gods-faithful-provision-life is leading me. It’s not always easy, but it’s good.
No matter what kind of circumstances or life season we seem to be in, God commands us to praise Him with a thankful heart. I’ve learned how to do that even when I feel in despair. Even when I’m sitting in the bottom of a pool of grief. Even when I’m questioning big ideas, or thinking big thoughts. Even when I have no idea where my life is going, or when key relationships in my life change and transition into a scary but new reality. We need to be thankful because we have a Good Father who loves us and always seeks our best. We need to bow down and pray – thanking Him for his grace and mercy in our lives even when we can’t see it. I’m so thankful that this year I can see it.
A few weeks ago at a dear friend’s wedding, they played this song. It has imprinted on my heart, and I love how it describes God’s worthiness to be praised and his devotion to us. For even if we are silent, the rocks will cry out and praise Him (Luke 19:40).